I'm BACK!

Hey guys,

So I haven't posted anything in a hot minute and I wanted to say that I will be posting weekly on here again. I have a lot of life updates and a lot of stuff in the works. Upcoming post will include reviews, workouts, LuLaRoe life, plus size reviews, eBay and moving/ selling our house!

Keep a look out for at least one new post from me, on this blog, a week.

Thanks!

Amanda

Natural Family Planning; No Way

I don't know if a lot of you know about this but this past week was natural family planning (NFP) week as led by the catholic church. I also don't know if any of you know this but I am not a catholic. I agree with some of the things that the catholic church stands for and says because I am a Christian but, for the most part, we don't see eye to eye.

This point is no clearer illustrated than with NFP. The whole point of NFP can be set up with this quote: "At its core, Natural Family Planning (NFP) is really learning about this language of the sexual powers by observing, recording and interpreting the bodily signs of human fertility. In other words, NFP is fertility awareness, the knowledge of a couple’s fertility, and is a means of reading the body’s signs of fertility and infertility" (http://www.ccli.org/nfp/). 

Now I don't have a problem with this at face value, it even seems like something that a newly married couple would want to do if it really is about learning the human body in a sexual way and exploring that to create oneness. However, I don't know a single couple who hasn't had a hard first year of marriage that wasn't made exponential harder by being pregnant and having a child in the first year.

NFP is suppose to help you plan when you have children but, the whole point is that if you are meant to get pregnant you will. The original purpose of the method that NFP uses to help you not get pregnant was meant to get you pregnant. It was to look at when a woman was most fertile and have sex in that period with the highest percent chance of conception. This is not what I want to use as my birth control, something that was originally engineered to achieve a pregnancy.

Furthermore, this is not how I want to get pregnant in the first place. I want to know that if I get pregnant I am ready to support a child. I think that it is irresponsible to have children without knowing how you are going to feed them, buy them clothing and have a plan for college. I mean come on, have you seen how much money it takes to put a kid through college in the states!? 

To let this point go lets look at one more point, the underlying purpose of this plan is to have children because they are the point and natural extension of marriage.  This is crap. The point of marriage is not children because the point if a Christian's life is not to have children. The purpose of a Christian's life is to love the Lord and serve Him with all your life. Before you get married, before that ring ever goes on your finger, you are to ask yourself will I serve God better being married to this person or not? If the answer is no or I don't know then you don't get married.

This idea does not end with having children in any way, shape, or form that you might get them (i.e. natural birth, adoption, fostering and so on). When you think about the idea of having children you should ask yourself the same question will I serve God better being a parent or not? if not then don't have children. I think this is a simple way to break down choices in life. 

Look at your ending goal and purpose on this earth, if being married helps you fulfill that purpose get married, if having children helps you fulfill that purpose, have children but don't do anything just because culture says you should or someone else is pressuring you to. If that pressure is not from the Holy Spirit say, Get behind me Satan and move on.

I have so much more to say about this but not nearly enough time. Let's just say I'll come back to this in a few weeks when I've calmed down.

Thanks for reading!

The Shack; a Book Review

A Note: I wrote this paper for a college course and I found it interesting. I would be interested on what you think of my interpretation of The Shack and to know how any of you feel about The Shack. It's clear this is a college paper so do expect too much!

From what the reader can gleam, WM. Paul Young, in his book The Shack, portrays all of the persons of the Triune God in a very different light. He portrays the character of the Father as a rather large black woman, the Spirit as a small Asian woman, and the Son as a Middle Eastern man. For the purposes of this paper let us start with the Father.

When this woman, Papa or the Father God, meets Mack she throws her arms around him and spins him around. She tells him how much he is loved and how long she has been waiting to see him. Let me state that again, how long she has been waiting to see him.

At this point I guess the reader can get rid of all those parts of the Bible that says the Father sees all the things that are done in secret, “And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you” (Matt. 6:5-6). This means that the Father knows all that we do, in public and in secret. The Father does not need a body to see us.

It is important to state once more, that the Father is unseen, like the Holy Spirit. The only person of the Triune with a body is that of the Son. Moreover, the reader can get rid of the parts of the Bible that state that He formed us in the womb and had a purpose for us before time, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart” (Jeremiah 1:5). I guess it is alright to say that God only formed us but does not know what we are doing and may have made plans for us from before time but He does not know what we look like or how we have been growing . This destroys the picture of the Father that remains in this readers head. The Father knows and sees all things. He is the one who knows the day and the hour, “No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father” (Matt. 24:36). However, Mr. Young then interjects at a part of the story and has Papa listening to a band that has not come out yet; in fact, they have not been born yet. This is just confusing for the reader; does the Father know all or does not He? Mr. Young tries to redeem himself by stating that the Father does know all, but for a time there it was unclear.

As the author is trying, poorly at best, to show the love of the Father, Young has Papa saying things like, “It’s okay, honey, you can let it out… I know you’ve been hurt, and I know you’re angry and confused. So, go ahead and let it out. It does a soul good to let the waters run once in a while- the healing waters” (Young 85). Not only is this a very bad, stereotypical portrayal of a Southern Black woman it makes the Father sounds slightly mystical and over affectionate. Mr. Young states through Papa that she appeared as a woman as to not play into Mack’s stereotypes of what God looks like, but only his stereotypes of black women. In this way, the Father seems as though He has forgone knowledge and respect and gone straight for love. It is true that the Triune is love but that does not mean that the Father expects no respect or honor from us.

Not only does Mr. Young have the Father saying emotionally compelled things but he also has Papa saying crude things. This can be seen when Papa says, “Well, Mackenzie, don’t just stand there gawkin’ with your mouth open like your pants are full” (Young 90). This is not how I picture our holy, sinless, creator speaking. Does someone who is completely holy and perfect say things about people going to the bathroom in their pants?

If this were not bad enough, Young then goes on to portray the Holy Spirit as a small Asian woman. Here is how she is described,

This wiry-looking person appeared to be of northern Chinese or Nepalese or even Mongolian ethnicity. It was hard to tell, though, because his eyes had to work to see her at all. From her clothing, Mack assumed she was a groundskeeper or gardener. She had gloves folded into her belt, not the heavy leathers of the man, but lightweight cloth-and-rubber ones that Mack himself used for yard work at home. She was dressed in plain jeans with ornamental designs at the fringes- knees covered in dirt from where she had been kneeling- and brightly colored blouse with splashes of yellow and red and blue. But he knew all this was more of an impression of her than actually seeing her, as she seemed to phase in and out of his vision (Young 87).

Young has single-handedly taken the Holy Spirit, by whom we can even come to the Father, and turned Him into a stereotypical, fresh off the boat, Asian. This is not to say that the Spirit could not manifest Himself as an Asian woman, for this reader is not sure, but why would the Holy Spirit try to manifest Himself as an Asian woman and fail. It seems that Young is trying to keep some semblance that the Spirit does not have a body, but he already completely missed that fact with the Father, so now it just appears that the Spirit is less than that of the Father and the Son.

The Shack then goes on to portray Jesus, our Lord and Savior, as,

He then glanced past her and noticed that a third person had emerged from the cabin, this one a man. He appeared Middle Eastern and was dressed like a laborer, completely with tool belt and gloves. He stood easily, leaning against the doorjamb with arms crossed in front of him, wearing jeans covered in wood dust and plaid shirt with sleeves rolled just above the elbows, revealing well-muscled forearms. His features were pleasant enough, but he was not particularly handsome- not a man who would stick out in a crowd. But his eyes and smile lit up his face, and Mack found it difficult to look away (Young 86).

This is not altogether a bad portrayal of Jesus. Any reader of the Bible knows that Jesus was a carpenter and that His looks were plain. What is also interesting about Young’s portrayal of the Holy Spirit and Jesus is the fact that they are both workers, meant to do the work of the Father and the Father is an overweight woman. This seems to be saying that the Son and the Holy Spirit do all the work for the Father, while the Father does nothing but occasional meet with people and comfort them through their struggles. These are only the subliminal underpinning that this reader has picked up on.

Mr. Young had Jesus say one very interesting thing when Mack is looking at the stars with Him. Mr. Young has Jesus say, “I created it as the word, before the Word became flesh. So even though I created this, I see it now as a human. And I must say, it is impressive!” (Young 111). I am not sure how I feel about this. We know that God looked on what He had made and said that it was very good; so, would Jesus going from being the Word to being the incarnate Son change His view. He would now have a body and be fully human and fully God, but would that really change how He looked on creation? I have never thought about this before and this might have been the most interesting and least heretical thing Mr. Young has said in all the chapters that I have read.

Through his book, Mr. Young is trying to show that the Son and the Spirit work with the Father and all of this is done in love. At one part the Father, Papa, has her feet washed by the Son and this may not seen like a bad thing, for Jesus did tell His people to wash each other’s feet, but there is just something wrong with the picture. The picture is of the Father, the Son, and the Spirit all laughing and communing with each other, also not a bad thing, but the way that they interact does not seem real. It does not seem like the Father would act the way that He is being portrayed.

Young also disbands the hierarchy of the Triune God. He has the Father, Son, and Spirit, working in a kind of circle so that not one of them is above the other. This is a problem; for, anyone who has read the Bible knows that there is a structure that the Triune functions under. Through a very complicated argument I have shown this in one of my other papers, but I simply do not have the room to make the argument here.

For that reason, we too, as human, have a structure in our relationships and dealing in the Church. But at least the unity of the Father, Son and Spirit is kept when Papa tells Mack that all three were at the crucifixion. Papa tells Mack that the Father never left the Son. I am not too sure what I think about this because the Father did have to judge the weight of the world’s sins upon His shoulders. Thus, it would seem that the Father would have to leave the Son in some way in order to judge, but this is not something that I am sure of. The passage that he is referring to is from Mark and it states:

At the sixth hour darkness came over the whole land until the ninth hour. And at the ninth hour Jesus cried out in a loud voice, ‘Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?’—which means, ‘My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?’ When some of those standing near heard this, they said, ‘Listen, he's calling Elijah.’ One man ran, filled a sponge with wine vinegar, put it on a stick, and offered it to Jesus to drink.  ‘Now leave him alone. Let's see if Elijah comes to take him down,’ he said. With a loud cry, Jesus breathed his last (Mark 15:33-37).

It does not say anywhere in this passage that the Father was with the Son. I think that it can be inferred, but I am not sure to what extent. We know that the Father and the Son, as well as the Spirit, are always together but that still leaves the problem of the judgment.

When Papa tells Mack this, she is crying. This shows the love that the Father had for the Son. It seems as though Young holds to the fact that the Son’s job was to die for the sins of the world and the Spirit brings comfort and knowledge of the Son and the Father to the world. The love of the Father for the world is so focused on, that the hatred that the Father has for sin is over looked. Yes, it is true that the Father so loved the world He gave His only Son; but, it is also true that He hated sin so much, and was so holy that this was the only way to save the world.

Furthermore, The Father comes to Mack first when he gets to the door. This goes against what we know to be true about the Triune. First, the Holy Spirit must do a work in a person’s heart so that they may believe in Jesus. Consequently, it is only by that belief in the Son that one may come to the Father. If one does not have a belief in the Son, caused by the Spirit, then one cannot come to the Father.

Additionally, when Mack interacts with the Spirit, she looks into his eyes and takes away his stress and lifts a weight off of his shoulders. This would only make sense if Mack had been praying and asking for the Triune to take away his burden. But at this point Mack does not even fully believe or trust God. He is angry with God and mad about the loss of his daughter. Now, this is understandable but God is not someone that we take our anger out on.

I find the whole premise of The Shack to be preposterous. I do not think that this book is helpful in anyway but to hinder a relationship with the one true God. I feel that if you wish to destroy a new relationship with the Lord you should give them this book. I think one of the worst parts of this book is when Mack is thinking about how to address God and then he gets mad and feels that it is okay just to bang on the door and see what God will do. Why would God put up with our little temper tantrums? This seems to put God the Father, who is a large black woman, in a place of less respect.

I would do nothing to this book but burn it. I think that this is a dangerous book that gives people the wrong picture of God and His Triune persons. First of all, seeing them split like this makes it seem like there is more than one God. I know that they are all God and all different persons since before the creation of time, but seeing them separated like this does something to their unity. Mr. Young tried to show that the persons of the Triune God work together at all times by saying that they were all there during the crucifixion but he put them all on an equal footing. Now it is true that the Father, the Son and the Spirit are all equally God but there is still structure in the Triune. There is diversity in their unity and that is what is missing from Mr. Young’s picture of the Triune. There is far too much diversity and not enough unity. I think that this book could be a big problem for new believers or believers who do not know the Bible well. I think that I would have to read it again before I make my final decision. At this point I am far too angry at the book to make a clear decision.

There were parts of the book that were good. One of these was when Papa was talking about free will and said that she does not want prisoners. That she wants people that come to her of their own free will. She also goes on to explain that even though she knows what we are going to do it does not mean that she has taken away our free will. Mr. Young, also, has Papa go into the fact that we are not really free right now because of sin anyway. We cannot live a life without sin; thus, in order to live we must sin. This means that we are not free from our sin life and thus do not really know what free will is. I think that this was a good point and there were others but I think that the book as a whole, with the parts that I read, are dangerous to new believers, and believers as a whole, if they do not think about what they are reading and what they know to be true of God.

Birth Control Makes You Crazy

Now, I have debated posting about this for the past few days when I decided to just go with it. On Wednesday I went to the Obgyn to have my birth control changed. This is the fourth pill that I have been on in the span of one year. With this last pill I have experienced a 20 lb weight gain, a loss of appetite (I know it doesn't make sense), decreased sex drive, low energy, and mood swings. I also have headaches and spots in my vision. Now you would think going to the Obgyn she would want to help me discuss ideas of what to do since the pill is not working for me, but that's not what happened.

Not only did she just hand me a few brochures on different birth controls but when I told her I haven't been able to eat for the past few days, even so far as to tell her I have only eaten a few nuts and five pieces of pasta the day before, she tells me, and I quote "Well, maybe it's a good thing your not eating. It doesn't look like you're losing any weight after all." This is the point where I just stared at her not knowing what to say and if you've read my older blog posts you'll know that this keeps happening to me. I don't know what it is about doctors and their idea that because they went to med school they can treat you like you are less of a human being.

I would "like" to say that I have never been more insulted in my life but that just isn't true. Doctors do this to me all the time and that is why I strongly dislike going to the doctor. I might even go so far as to say I loath it. I went without health insures for four years because even if I had it I wasn't going to use it.

In truth, it took me an extra 2 months to get my Pa learners permit because I didn't want to have a physical. This is not because I am in poor shape but because I know what the doctors are going to say to me. They act like what they are telling me about how I look is some sort of news flash. With the way they treat me you would think that I have no mirrors in my house and that all I do is sit on my big butt and watch Vampire Diaries. Now I do love me some Vamp Di but there's only so long you can stair at Ian Somerhalder's face before you have to get up and run around.

In some strange way I feel like I have to justify myself to these doctors and say things like, "No, I really do workout," "I swear I took my dogs on a two mile walk yesterday," and "I'm a vegetarian, I haven't touch a piece of bacon in 5 years..." But I don't say these things because most of the time when doctors say things about my weight I just get shocked into muteness.

This is something that I seek to change about myself and I hope you guys hold me to it!

P.S. if you don't know who Ian Somerhalder is here's a picture:

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/5/55/Ian_Somerhalder.jpg/382px-Ian_Somerhalder.jpg

You're welcome!

Supersize vs Superskinny

When it comes to the topic of weight loss most women cringe and think about the weight they would like to be or what they need to do to change. I have thought about this for many years seeing as I have been "overweight" since I was a child.

I remember the first moment when I knew I was different from other children. Now this thought did not come from the way that the children treated me in elementary school or a comment from a bully... it came from the statement of a doctor. I went to the doctor for a normal check up when the doctor took it upon himself to tell 12 year old me that if I don't lose weight I will be at risk for a slew of weight induced diseases such as diabetes and heart-failure. He told me that I was obese for my weight/ height. I was only 12 years old so I really didn't know what that means.

I had never looked at myself as "overweight" until that doctor said something to me and then after that other people started saying things to me about my weight. I don't know if I had just never noticed before how people viewed me or if I carried myself differently after I heard the very damaging words of that doctor but my world had been changed from that moment on.

This would set me on a path that would give me a constant battle with weight. I would starve myself to loose weight when I was in high school. I would go for 3 days without eating anything and then eat a bowl of steamed vegetables. When I went out with friends I would say that I had already eaten or I would eat and then make myself throw-up. I lost 20 lbs in the span of 2 months but no one could tell because I wore such large clothing.

At my largest I wore a size 13 in teen's but I bought a size 16 in women's. I clearly had no idea what I looked like or what I should wear. One comment 5 years earlier almost put me in the hospital for the opposite of what the doctor had wanted.

I know that weight is a touchy subject and that being overweight can cause disease and death but so can being underweight. For this reason I am glad to say that I realized that there is a happy medium for everyone and that even though doctors want to base it on BMI that isn't really the way to go. Now there are clearly people that are too heavy or too skinny but looking at pictures of myself from elementary school I can see that I was a little heavy but I was by no means obese as the doctor had told me.

I think as a society at large we care far too much about what we look like and we consistently judge others who do or do not fit into our ideal weight/ size. I found this song a few weeks ago and I feel that it perfectly embodies what I wish someone had told me in high school. The song is called "I Know Girls" by Mary Lambert.

Here is a lovely picture of her face... 

Please take a listen to "I Know Girls": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j7tlFfKCESg

The take away for me from this song is that "you are no less valuable as a size 16 than a size 4," because some people do not believe that. I've had conversation with girls who don't believe that statement and it makes me sick. We as women need to look out for other women and help them to love their bodies.

So take the time to share this song with a friend and have a truthful conversation with her about how you felt listening to this song and what it might have brought up in you.

Thanks again for reading!

This is Real Life

Now, it looks as though I have given up my last blogging site but, in truth, I haven't. It turns out that PBU and Google hate me and have made it so that I can't get back into my last blogging site because it was done with a eagle.pbu.edu address and now it has changed to cairn.edu. Thus, I have no access to my old blogs... and to this I say Great! sarcastically to myself.

But I guess this is a chance for me to start again and I am going to cut and paste my old blog posts on to this blog if I can.

I think it is also a work of God that I have to make a new blog seeing as the blog was called "Youth For Christ" and I am no longer working at WCCEC. This is a slightly touchy subject and I am not sure how I feel as of yet. Thus, I will be using this blog to think through my feeling about the church and where God is leading me. I will also write about the funny things that happen in my day to day life that don't seem to make any sense.

I hope that this blog can be a help to you in your walks with Christ and can also just give you an update as to where I am and what I am up to. This of course does not take the place of me talking with you one on one; but for those of you I don't get to do that with very often this should help in aiding our friendship. And, furthermore, just give me a place to vent some of the things that are going on.

Well, I am going to try to post ever Wednesday, starting tomorrow, and whenever something pops up. So I could post more than once a week or just Wednesday, we'll see.

Thanks for reading!